A kick in the teeth is good for some,
by Wandering to her doom
Summary: A kiss with a fist is better than none. (Bigby X Bloody Mary)


**Someone challenge me to write some BigbyXBloody Mary (What's the name for this ship? Bloodywolf? Bary?) And I do enjoy a challenge. First off, this is AU and Bloody Mary isn't working for Crooked man, just a fable down on her luck. Enjoy, contains drug usage and sexual themes, might be Ooc but that's only for the plot. Also don't do drugs, stay in school and eat your vegetables. And don't hate Jack, but someone needs to be the ex. Song used in title and summary is "Kiss with a fist", but this isn't a song fic. One last thing though, I am a form believer that Bloody Mary isn't heterosexual, I normally headcannoned her as a lesbian, so she's bisexual in this fic. **

Saturdays were supposed to mean lots of drinking, partying, sex and fun. But the fun part was certainly lacking tonight. Crisp blue bed sheets may had been covering Jack and Bloody Mary's nude bodies after a less then successful night of lust that certainly lacked passion, but it certainly didn't hide the unpleasant expressions on their faces.

Bloody Mary held back the urge to let out a sigh. It would just seem rude and add to the awkward feel the room had. Mary licked her lips, she was craving a cigarette. Reaching to the oak night stand she grabbed a pack of smokes with its brand named "Huff N' Puff" labelled onto the dented pack. Much to her disappointment the majority of the cigarettes were crushed. Cursing under her breath she selected one of the two white sticks that weren't crushed. With the quick movement of her thumb a small flame emitted from the ebony lighter. Inhaling the strong ashy taste her lips blew out a cloud of grey smoke.

'That's better,' she though. Now with her nicotine craving satisfied Bloody Mary looked over at her boyfriend.

"Cigarette?" Bloody Mary offered, finally deciding to break the weird eerie feeling that hung over them like a cloud.

Jack declined. "Nah, that's a terrible brand."

Mary continued to smoke, the ashy scent quickly covered up the rather weak scent of the aftermath of boring sex. Her slender fingers drummed uneasily against the sheets; at long last she finally let out a sigh.

"For fucks sakes Jack, what is it this time?!" Bloody Mary snapped dropping her cigarette into an ashtray. "I can't read minds!"

The blonde haired man let out a irritated sigh. He then stared daggers at the raven haired lady. "Oh nothing, it's just this is the first time we had sex in three months." he snarled.

This fazed Mary a bit, she haven't really noticed hers and Jack's sex life was starting go down the drain. They used to be so passionate and went at it like a couple of animals for hours on end. Now with this reminder, she could easy recall each lustful and exciting night they shared was starting to become less and less common. Trying to make an excuse she cleared her throat to speak.

"I've been working later nights to pay for YOUR share of the apartment fees!" Mary reminded him. Moving in with Jack seemed like such a good idea at the time. They would both spilt the bills and expense and save up for a better place.

"Bills, bills, bills!" Jack explained throwing his hands in the air. "That's all you ever talk about!" he complained. "I can't even have a decent conversation without it turning back to the damn bills!"

Her fierce amber eyes narrowed at her boyfriend. "Well excuse me, your gambling and late night drinking isn't exactly cheap you know!" Bloody Mary lit up another smoke.

"Jesus, see? That's all you talk about! You can't even enjoy a little "us" time." he crossed his arms. "No wonder you didn't even come."

"You didn't either!" snapped Bloody Mary.

"Actually I did, if you paid attention to me for once you would had noticed!" the man explained. "And your the one to fucking talk about gambling and alcohol, you're the one who goes out in the dead of night to buy weed!"

"Sorry, but knowing we could lose the apartment isn't really helping set the mood." Bloody Mary hissed. "And I need a fucking high, listening to your goddamn voice about how you're "find a job soon," gives me a fucking headache!"

"You know work is hard find!" Jack argued. "Not all of us have a job to brag about."

"You think I like my shitty job?!" Mary snarled. "All I do is go fetch coffee and lug cables around!" working with the local TV news station seemed like such a good idea at the time, she though it would more rewarding for her...that was clearly the wrong idea of thinking if running petty errands wasn't ones cup of tea." I'm fucking miserable at work!"

"Well I'm miserable too! When was the last time you ever gave me some affection?" the blonde haired man demanded.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're so go damn selfish!" she splat at him getting up from the bed and slipping her clothes back on. ""When was the last time you ever gave me some affection," she tried mocking his voice. "What about me? You never ask me about my day at work-"

"You hate work though."

"Well, maybe I appreciate someone actually giving two shits about me!" Bloody Mary swore while slipping on a pair of well worn faded jeans. "Funny you go on and on about affection and don't give me any." She zipped up the fly of her pants. "Name one time you did something for me? Did you ever cook dinner? No, did you ever do your share of the housework? No,"

"For god's sake Mary I'm tired." Jack stated.

Bloody Mary scoffed. "Tired? Tired from what? I'm doing everything around here while you waltz over to that bar and get drunk off your ass! The very least I deserve is a thank you every now and then. or have some kind of weight lifted off my back, maybe even flowers. Did I ever tell you that Vivian brought me flowers every Wednesday?" she reminded bringing up her ex-girlfriend.

"Well I'm not fucking Vivian, what the hell do you want from me Mary?" Jack huffed as he got up and slipped his own clothes on.

"You want the truth?"

"Yeah," her boyfriend replied getting his shirt on.

"I want to break up."

The next few minutes mainly contains Bloody Mary quickly grabbing whatever belonged to her (Which wasn't much, all she had were a couple shirts, pants, her leather jacket, car keys and of course her stash) and stuffing in messily into a brown velvet suitcase.

'Fuck him,' she though bitterly as she stormed out of the apartment and down the stairs. 'He brought this upon himself.' When she got out of the dreary apartment she quickly threw her suitcase in the back of an old and nearing being completely broken, silver car. Cursing under her breath and entered the car and drove away in a fit of rage.

* * *

Almost every day was a bad day for Bigby Wolf, as if being sheriff of Fable town wasn't hard enough, it seemed life wanted to piss him off more then ever. For starters his damn alarm clock didn't go off, it was almost noon by the time he woke up... the fact he had to do paper work until one in the morning certainly didn't help. Apparently there was an error in the paperwork Crane had done, so of COURSE Bigby had to fix it...by filling out seemingly endless sheets of paper work. As if that wasn't enough the damn coffee machine broke and he ran out of cigarettes. Okay, those two things he could live without (Well maybe not the cigarettes) but it certainly made his day at work even tougher to bear.

A pretty bad way to start off the day, but that was just the start of the snowball rolling down the steep snowy hill. He had to deal with Toad not having any glamor, AGAIN. Which was basically a bunch of arguing back and fourth…it ended with Toad getting his son to do the sad puppy dog eyes on him…he wasn't good with kids, and he didn't want to upset TJ any further, so they settled on one last chance to get glamor. Then after that another pile of paperwork that "Needed to be done as soon as possible," Bluebeard told him. That led him to missing lunch, on the bright side the coffee machine was fixed shortly after… bad news was Bufkin was drunk and cashed into him, causing him to spill piping hot coffee all over himself. The straw that broke the caramel's back was Crane's nagging voice and the constant headache he gotten over time. When the works hours were up he quickly left in a rush of irritation and annoyance. Cruising under his breath his walked through the busy night time streets of Fable town.

It was just another night if you set everything aside, just another night where the air reeked of exhaust that came from cars, overpowering perfume, fast food wrappers, alcohol and the new pack of cigarettes he brought…

Bigby paused and sniffed the air, yes the city would always smell the same…but there was something odd about it today. Upon sniffing again he definitely managed to get a whiff of something at stood out. Faint traces of some kind of…oily herb scent? It was faint but it was there alright, he didn't ever recall hearing any news of a gardening place opening up, nor a new café of some sort. Curiosity got the better of the sheriff as he wandered down the sidewalks. With each step he took the herb scent grew stronger and stronger. He passed by a large handful of strangers (the majority of them drunk since it was a Saturday) until he reached an ally. It was very dark with only a one dim light hanging off of one of the walls of the old brick walls to light up the area. Parked in the ally was a silver car, its windows were rolled up tightly but it still heavily reeked of the oil herb smell.

'Yup, this is where's the smell's coming from.'

Wandering up to the car he was about to tap on the glass window until they rolled down. This was clearly an accident on the driver's part. The car had one of those buttons that could make the windows roll down with the press of a single button. The driver's elbow was accidentally pressed on the button, like when you sit on the TV remote. This wasn't the best time or place on the driver's part. She was a woman, with short black hair with a bright crimson streak. A array of light freckles on her cheeks and amber eyes that were lazily staring forward not noticing Bigby at all, every few seconds she would bring a joint to her heart shape lips, take a drag and then blew a puff of greenish smoke. There was a pregnant pause until her eyes finally averted to the side of her.

Her eyes caught sight of Bigby wolf; they widen in shock and then did a double take on the joint in her hand and then back to the sheriff. "Uhh…" the woman uttered her mouth hanging open, wisps of marijuana smoke escaping." Sheriff, I can explain…" the women manage to say.

"What's your name?" he questioned crossing his arms. TV woman gulped loudly and lower her glance to the ground.

"Bloody Mary..."

"Got enough to share?"

Bloody Mary's eyes lit up in surprise, she cleared her throat. "Sure..." she unlocked the passenger seat door. He walked over to the other side and entered the car. There was yet another pause; Mary took yet another drag of the joint. The smell of the drug was as strong as ever...

she exhaled a cloud of greenish smoke. Gulping awkwardly and loudly she passed in the joint. "I don't have much left..." she confessed.

"Thanks..." he replied and brought the joint to his lips. A burning rubber tasted filled his mouth as he inhaled, the burning sensation hit the back of his throat but as well as instant feeling of relaxation, something he haven't had in far too long. He blew a cloud of marijuana smoke and once again greedily took a drag.

"Damn, I needed this," he huffed.

"Must be having one hell of a day if you're the one breaking the law," Bloody Mary spoke as she crossed her legs, eagerly awaiting her turn.

After a third smoke he passed the joint back to the owner of the car and the weed. He sunk into the worn out seats of the car. "You have no idea..." An odd but pleasant light headed feeling took over his head, as well as a mild dizziness. He shut his eyes and sunk deeper into the seat.

"Join the club," she replied taking another drag. "You plan on arresting me or something?" Bigby shook his head.

"Too much in a fucking bad mood,"

"Oh I've been there, so what's your deal anyway right now?" Mary asked.

"Aren't I supposed to be asking the questions?"

"Aren't you supposed to be enforcing laws and not getting high with someone you just met? For all you know I could be some serial killer." Bloody Mary mused passing him the joint.

"Well that's a chance I'm more than willing to take." Bigby replied taking another smoke.

"Seriously though, what's got you so pissed off you of all fables are out breaking the law?" she mused letting out a dry laugh as she drummed her fingers against the side of her thigh.

He sighed and glanced out the window, seeing noting but the mildew that spread on the brick walls.

"Just another shitty day at work," the sheriff grumbled resting his chin in his hands. He did feel more at ease though, a bit more on the less stressed side…"What about you? You do this often?' Bloody Mary sunk into the car seat.

"Only when my boyfriend was being a pathetic piece of shit, so a lot." the black and grey clad woman laughed. "Guess I should start addressing him by my ex-boyfriend now."

"Shit, sorry to hear that."

Mary shook her head. "Don't be, couldn't hold a job for shit. Always working on one of those get rich plans going on, HA! More like let's waste all of my hard earned money down the drain." She took a hold of the joint and took another long drag. "Better off without Jack anyway, you know him? Blonde hair? Pony tail?"

"Yeah, I know him." Bigby replied.

She blew another cloud of smoke. "Only dated him cause' he kind of looked like my old girlfriend Vivian, both blondes."

"Kind of selfish don't you think?" Bigby mused.

"You're the sheriff and your smoking weed, you don't get to judge." Bloody Mary stated as she reached to the radio. "You mind if I put something on? I enjoy my highs more if I got something entertaining to listen to."

"Oh I'm not entertaining enough?"

"You're about as entertaining as the debt my ex got me into." Mary chuckled merrily.

"I could easily arrest you right now you now." he reminded.

"Hey, you breaking the law too." she mused turning on the car radio, a rock sound softly blared. "How are you going to explain that one sheriff?" she took another smoke. "Look at me, breaking the law with the sheriff."

Soon enough the weed did its job, both were relax and felt so free. As if Jack and work didn't exist at all to neither of them. They laughed for an hour or so, with the high in full affect both of them enjoyed "pot humor" and laughed obnoxiously to various little things they came out of there mouths, which reeked strongly of the weed. Their carefree little buzz lasted until the early mornings rolled around.

* * *

Amber eyes slowly cracked open, her neck was sore from sleeping in the stiff seats of the care. A mild headache came on. The tune of some rock band played from the radio. It didn't annoy her in the slightest, it was fairly nice to wake up to something she enjoyed and not Jack's snoring. She looked at herself in the car's mirror; her hair was slightly mess but nothing a good shower and bushing can't fix. A yawn escaped her lips, rubbing the gunk out of her eyes she looked at the little digital clock on the radio.

'2Am…'

Her eyes felt heavy, tired with sleep. Another yawn escaped her mouth. Her body ached, she wanted to sleep but at the same time she felt like she couldn't. Upon licking her lips Mary noted how dry her mouth was. A low grunt reminded her she was with the sheriff. "Hey, you up?" Bloody Mary questioned as she poked the sheriff's sleeping face. He let out a small grumble and opened his brown eyes. Big thick bags hung over them as he yet out a tried yawn.

"What time is it?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"Round 2Am," she replied.

Bigby shot Bloody Mary an annoyed looked. "Couldn't you have let me sleep in?"

"Mind you, we fell asleep in my car," Bloody Mary reminded him. "Want a ride home?"

Bigby gave a shrug scratching his neck. "Not like I'm gonna be able to hail down a taxi at this hour." he agreed. Bloody Mary nodded drove the car. "What about you though?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you broke up with your boyfriend, and I take it you left him with the apartment." Bigby gestured to the brown suitcase which rested in the back seats.

Thinking back Mary should had been the one to kick Jack out of the apartment; no way would he be capable to pay for all the bills and expense that came along with it. She sighed and lightly bonked her head on the steering wheel, the honk let out a small "honk" as she did so. She really should of though this through. The leather clad woman really should have either made Jack leave, or check out some new apartments or a hotel for a place to spend the night. "Fuuuuuuuck." Mary let out an annoyed moan.

"You alright?" Bigby asked as Mary lifted her head from the steering wheel.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" she lied, upon feeling the dryness as well as the hunger (A side affect of weed, you get the "Munchies") that filled her stomach she let out a sigh. "I would kill for a beer though." Digging through her pocket she retrieved a old and crumbled twenty dollar bill. "Know any bars that open this late?"

"Unless you like those loud party clubs, then no." Bigby replied. "Got a few bottles back at my place."

"I couldn't possibly-"

"We just broke the law together, it's the least I could do." he offered one last time. Her eyes looked away as she though. It could just be a trick to arrest her…but the tempting offer or a cold beer was a bit too good to pass up. She gave a curt nod.

"Sure, I could really use one." She finally agreed. "Smallest apartment in the Woodlands, right?" with a nod for Bigby she drove.

They exchanged small pieces of dialog along the way, Bloody Mary explained about her job working at the local news station. Of course she had to let off some steam about how it was just running petty errands for her bosses and co-workers. Bigby seemed fine by that, he had to let off some steam also, he ranted about how Crane was a prick, he didn't trust Bluebeard, and how Bufkin couldn't stay sober if his live depended on it.

"Sounds like a real shitty job, why did you even bother to do it?"

"Someone had too." Bigby explain as they got out of the car. Woodlands was the same as always as it would be at this hour, quiet with the guard snoozing away at his desk. After a short elevator ride up the two reached the hallway. "My place is just right down here." he informed. They walked down the hallway until they stopped at a door, digging into his pockets Bigby pulled out a silver set of keys and unlocked the door.

Mary had to admit, Bigby's place made hers and Jack's place look like a five star hotel. Empty cans and endless sheets of paper scattered throughout the room, it was dark even with the lights on, and there was the constant strong scent of cigarette smoke.

"Nice place." she commented as Bigby went to the kitchen, then came back with two beers bottles.

"It's shitty, I know."

Bloody Mary plopped herself down in the rather hard chair. "Hey, if you got alcohol in this place it's a great place." bringing the bottle to heroes she allowed herself to indulge in a long and greedy swing of beer. Smacking her lips she spoke, "Damn I need this."

'Would taste better with a cigarette though.'

"I take it the breakup wasn't pretty?" Bigby took a swing of his own drink.

"Take a wild guess." the short haired woman mused.

The sheriff let out a dry laugh, once again he drug through his pocket and pulled out a pack of smokes. After lighting himself up one he offered one of the slender white sticks to Bloody Mary.

"Thanks," she replied as he lit it up for her, she inhaled the ashy taste and a cloud of grey smoke escaped her lips. "Huff N' Puff?"

"Let me guess, shitty brand?"

"No, it's my favourite." she mused. "Me and Vivian made this our brand." Mary tapped her chin remembering the fond memories she had of her old girlfriend. "You know how most couple have a little thing they share? A song, movie, or something like that? Me and Vivian had cigarettes."

Bigby arched an eyebrow at her. "If you liked her that much why did you two break up?"

"A bit blunt don't ya think?" Bloody Mary sneered at him.

"Sorry, I-"

Raising a hand up she shushed him. "It's fine, hell we didn't want to break up... but times were tough and she got involve with that Pudding N' Pie place, once her boss found out bout ask he made her break up with me." Bloody Mary then did a very poor impression of Georgie's accent. ""I can't have an unattractive freak like you ruining my business if yer smooching my girls"" she rolled her eyes. "Asshole was a real prick, something changed about Vivian once she worked there, wouldn't say a peep about work at all." fallowing up with a drag of a cigarette and a quick swing of beer she sighed. "We didn't want too break up... but we both knew there was no hope for us if she kept being so secretive."

"Sounds like a bitch to go through." Bigby comment blowing a ashy puff of smoke.

"Life's a bitch," she replied. "Then Jack came along, worst mistake I ever made." she shook her head. "Sorry for rambling."

Placing a hand on her shoulder he took another quick swing of beer. "It's fine, I've say you earned it... also keep the little... Weed moment between us and I'll consider it even."

A dry chuckle escaped from Bloody Mary.

"Are you always this easy to please?"

"Only when I'm in a good mood."

"I can easily believe that." tapping the end of her cigarette into an ash tray she yawned.

"Tried?" Bigby asked polishing off the rest of his bottle.

"I got a few more hours left on me." she replied finishing the last of her own drink. "Your quiet the listener sheriff." Bloody Mary commented putting her smoke out in the glass ashtray.

"Part of the job." Bigby said doing the same with his cigarette.

Stretching her arms she smirked at Bigby and clicked her tongue. "Quit being so modest." she leaned back in the chair. "Or is it just because your a wolf or some shit like that."

"Some shit like that, real classy language you got there." he commented.

"Why thank you, I pride myself on my classiness." she mused resting her chin in her knuckles. "Ain't I a smart ass?'

"Yup," he responded. Mary laughed merrily to herself before standing up. "Your certainly a smart ass if I ever met one."

"Is this your way of trying to woo me?"

"Depends, is it working?"

* * *

A bright beam of sunlight crept through the white dusty blinds of the window. Feeling the warmth on his face cause his heavy eyes to slowly open. What time was? if he had to guess he would say around maybe noon or around the afternoons? Thankfully he didn't have work today, the first time he had a day to himself. His nose picked up on the strong scent of bodily fluids. A sly smile spread across his face as he remembered the passionate night between him and Bloody Mary. It was a good way to let off some steam and relax for the two of them. Bigby made an attempt to get out of the bed but no avail. He looked at his wrist and ankles, both were bond with grey cloth to the bed frame. He smiled as a small chuckle escaped from the back of his throat. If this didn't help him not Mary forget about their shitty day he didn't know what would.

The sound of footsteps entering his bedroom caused his head to perk up, there was Bloody Mary, fully clothed unlike him. "Morning." she greeted her eyelids lowered in a amused manner, clearly pleased from the night before.

"Hey..." he greeted warmly.

"Had fun last night?" she asked, on her swan like neck was a bright pink hickey.

"Most fun I had in awhile." Bigby confessed. He tugged at the restrains, still no avail. Bloody Mary must be an expert at knots if he himself could not break free.

"You really are a wild animal." she purred.

"You gonna untie me?"

A wicked smirk spread across her face, soon his brown eyes were face to face with fierce amber ones. "Yeah...about that." reaching down to the ground she lifted a white sack over her back.

He arched an eye brow at her. "Is that my stuff?" Mary have a careless shrug of her shoulders.

"It's mine now," Mary mused patting Bigby's head.

His furrowed his eye brows. "What the fuck?!" he snapped struggled at the restrains. Mary simply let out a chuckle and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Later wolfie, I head a real fun time," Bloody Mary waved as she left with his belongings.

"Wait! Come on, untie me!" he screamed but she dismissed him and was eventually gone, leaving Bigby tied up.

It seemed like hours had passed, Bigby was tied up, naked, cold hungry, and her ally had to use the bathroom. It was just sheer luck Colin escaped from the farm and decided to crash at his place.

"Hey, Bigby are you... Is this a bad time?"

"Just fucking untie me..."

**XD the end. Yes I do ship BigbyXBloody Mary, Truth be told I just don't like BigbyXSnow. I know it's cannon in the comics and imply in the game... But I just don't like it. I have no trouble with people shipping it though, just not my cup of tea... Speaking of which I can't ship anything cannon in the game :P Nothing appeals to me all that much. Hope you enjoyed this one-shot. **


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